This Thought Catalog post got me thinking about how certain things that men say affect women who are gluten free differently than they would your “regular” woman. Most of the men I know are extremely understanding and accepting of my diet, but there is still always the random jerk out there who has to ruin it for the rest of them. So, men, please do us gals a favor and stop saying these things:
“I want a girl who will order a beer over wine.”
I used to worry that men would think that I was high maintenance or not “one of the guys” because I can’t order beer or a burger at a restaurant. Sure I could order a burger with no bun, but in my opinion having your date eat a plain beef patty like a cave woman is not exactly a turn on. Now I’ve learned that what people choose to eat or drink is really blown out of proportion. Order a beer, order a fruity margarita with a twist, order whatever it is you feel like drinking that night. Same goes for food – girls who order burgers and girls who order salads have an equal chance of being “cool.”
“Reservations? Nah, let’s just play dinner by ear.”
Whenever any guy says that, I immediately assume that I’m going to be left starving in the middle of nowhere. Usually this of the carefree sentiment that you could just hop into a restaurant and grab a slice of pizza, or pull into a drive thru and order some sandwiches. That’s not an option for celiacs, though. I prefer to know when and where my next meal is coming from, or at the very least that there is some kind of plan for getting food into my belly in the next few hours.
“Do you want a bite?”
This is usually followed by an, “Oh, nevermind…you can’t have this.” Yes, thank you very much for reminding me. I know that usually the person just genuinely forgot that I can’t partake in whatever delicious donut or pastry they’re having, but every time I have to turn down a cookie it makes me die a little inside. Come on dude, just try to think a little before you speak.
“Don’t worry so much.”
Celiacs have to worry because if we don’t, gluten will get us. Seriously, it’s everywhere. I know it’s probably annoying that I have to ask the waiter 10 questions before we can eat, but if the alternative is dealing with me being grumpy and sick from getting glutened, I think you’ll pick the former.
“She could stand to lose a few pounds.”
This is true for all women, but I can see it happening to gluten free women who get that ever-so-attractive distended abdomen after getting glutened. Men are so hypercritical of women’s bodies, and then they wonder why we’re all so insecure. No man has ever said this to me, but if they did…God help them.
All my gluten free females out there – what do you think men need to stop saying to you?
Gluten Free? Gimme Three! 
No offense, but your gender is just as bad. The grass ain’t any greener dating the other way. So instead of complaining, you can either a) better educate the men you date or b) pick better men. If they can’t grasp the concept for something as simple as this, do you think they’ll fair any better with other things down the road?
I should have been more clear – this is what I’ve heard from men in general, not men that I date. And I know that the majority of the time the guys have no ill-intent, they just don’t know how simple things will come across (Like “let’s just play dinner by ear”) I’m sure women are equally as offensive, but that’s not what this post was about.
That’s an apt answer to an instereting question
Whether it’s dating, friends or in passing though, the statement still stands. Insensitivity knows no gender. In general, the people that seem to show sensitivity are ones that know people with some sort of food allergy in general. I often get the, “wow, that stinks.” And then they proceed to go down a long list of foods, questioning what I can eat. Like I really need to go through a laundry list of food.
And winging going out to eat is easy if you just put your foot down. If it’s a really bad choice, the guilt trip I give is top notch. Never happens again. That, and have excused myself, walked over to wawa and ordered a chicken cheesesteak in a bowl with spinach sautéed onions and roasted peppers and walked back in the restaurant. Have done the same with cider and gluten free beer when they don’t have options.
Amen, sister! Although I would say that these are five things PEOPLE need to quit saying, not just men. 🙂