I know what you’re thinking – there is more than one type of vegan “beef” jerky? Yes.
And you’re actually recommending them as something I should eat? Yes. (If you are vegetarian, but still enjoy salty protein-filled meat-imitating snacks)
But Anna, whatever jerky should I choose?
No worries, I’m here to help. DING DING DING – let the match up begin!
First up: Primal Strips

Texas BBQ and Hickory Smoked are Gluten Free - note the handy icon in the upper right of the package
Buy me.
Primal Strips are truly amazing. A feat of food engineering. I don’t understand how those food scientists could make soy taste and feel so much like dehydrated meat. Seeing as I haven’t eaten meat in about four years, this is about as primal as my eating gets. These strips are only 80-90 calories each, and pack about 10-12 grams of protein each. They’re also almost fat free, and have no cholesterol. They’re perfect for a mid-afternoon snack (and even give that guilty-pleasure salt satisfaction, without eating a bag of chips). These are super chewy, fun to eat, and have a ton of meat-ish, BBQ flavor.
I’ve been eating Primal Strips for a few months now, so when I saw that the store across from my office started carrying them I was super excited. They also started carrying Stonewall’s Jerquee. So I thought – what’s better than one kind of vegan gf jerky than TWO KINDS? Pretty much nothing.
So I picked up a package of Stonewall’s Jerquee and started snacking. This jerky is in little nuggets rather than a strip.

Nuggets
These, however, were not the primal experience I was seeking. With such pleasant olde time wild west mascot, you’d think that the product would live up to the packaging. (They also have about 12 different flavors, which was exciting to me). However, the package of Teriyaki jerquee that I had tasted like dog food. It had a grainy texture, unpleasant dog food/stale smell, and left my mouth drier than Cheetos and cardboard combined. I forced myself to eat about half the package (it cost $2.99 so I couldn’t bring myself to just chuck it). But then I had to give up, drink some water, and throw them out.
*Sidenote – what’s with the spelling of jerquee? Makes my skin crawl just typing it.
Heavyweight Champion = PRIMAL STRIPS!
So, if the thought of vegan jerky doesn’t repulse you – go get some! They’re available at Whole Foods (near the register at my store).
Don’t get Stonewalls Jerquee. Unless you run out of dog food.